


how many falls until I fly

by scepticallyopenminded



Series: 30 Days of Writing Challenge [17]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mates, Non-Binary Derek, Non-Ternary Derek, Omega Stiles Stilinski, well it's more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3431786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And it’s not like anyone is disappointed, he wouldn’t say that; his family and friends are surprised, but not disappointed. He’s disappointed, though; he’s never really felt like an omega, and now that he is one – he still doesn’t feel like one. But even though before he presented he thought of himself as an alpha – well, he doesn’t feel like that, either. People keep referring to him as an omega and that doesn’t feel right, and he tries to refer to himself (in his head) as an alpha, and that doesn’t feel right, either. He feels suspended, somewhere in between, not fully here nor there, and it’s a feeling that really kind of sucks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how many falls until I fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DefaltManifesto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/gifts).



> title from "Supposed To Be" by Tom Odell.
> 
> so I was having a conversation with Schizzar yesterday about his A/B/O 'verse (which like y'all - if you are at all into hockey rpf GO READ HIS STUFF not kidding he is incredible I am currently getting emotional over Tyler Seguin in one of his most current fics) and it totally inspired this and I would enjoy doing some more with it bc I absolutely adore the idea of non-ternary Derek in an A/B/O world. which like he's not a huge fan of sterek but he said he would read this SO HERE YOU ARE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INSPIRATION YOU LOVELY HUMAN BEING.

Coming from a family of all alphas, Derek fully expects to be an alpha. At the very, very least, he would be a beta, like his father and aunt. But he, and everyone around him, expects an alpha; he’s always had alpha-like tendencies – the protectiveness, the slight aggressiveness, the inclination toward leadership in everything he does.

When Derek is seventeen, he presents. As an omega.

And it’s not like anyone is disappointed, he wouldn’t say that; his family and friends are surprised, but not disappointed. _He’s_ disappointed, though; he’s never really felt like an omega, and now that he is one – he still doesn’t feel like one. But even though before he presented he thought of himself as an alpha – well, he doesn’t feel like that, either. People keep referring to him as an omega and that doesn’t feel right, and he tries to refer to himself (in his head) as an alpha, and that doesn’t feel right, either. He feels suspended, somewhere in between, not fully here nor there, and it’s a feeling that really kind of sucks.

It gets even worse when he goes back to school and realizes that Stiles – Stiles Stilinski, who’s been Derek’s best friend for five years and an omega himself for a little under a year – is _his_. And, okay, he’s been a little attracted to Stiles for some time, and before he thought they might get together after he presented, the perfect little alpha/omega couple.

But then, of course, he had to go and be an omega.

It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t seem to matter, because the second he smells Stiles with his newly upgraded nose, he knows. Judging by the way Stiles’ eyes widen as he stares at Derek, he knows, too. Either that or Stiles can hear Derek’s heart beating; Derek figures probably the whole school can hear it, it’s so loud. Except –

“I am so glad it’s you,” Stiles says, breathing out, a half-sigh. It hurts, though, it hurts Derek because no matter if Stiles is glad, they’re both still, he’s still –

“I’m an omega,” he tells him, and it feels so wrong for that to come out of his mouth, like it’s not the word he’s looking for. Stiles must sense it, because he searches Derek’s face before opening his mouth just as the bell rings, signalling that they have one minute to get to class.

“After class,” Derek starts to say before Stiles grabs his wrist and is pulling him through the halls and out one of the doors to the school.

“Stiles, I can’t miss chemistry – ”

“Oh I’ve heard of couple’s using the ‘I found my mate’ excuse to get out of class before,” Stiles replies, pulling him behind the sports equipment building, before finally letting his wrist go.

“But – we can’t be mates, didn’t you hear me, I’m an omega.”

Stiles snorts.

“Right, no, I can smell it but – I mean there have been incidents of alpha/alpha and omega/omega pairs, I’m not concerned about this. More than that, I’m concerned about you – you don’t seem…okay with this all.”

Derek sighs, looks down. He doesn’t know how to articulate what he feels to other people, not even Stiles, but then, Stiles has always been there for him, Stiles has always been honest with him, and – and if there’s one person in the world he thinks won’t judge him and will at least attempt to understand him – it’s Stiles.

“I just – I don’t feel right,” he admits, and he looks up at Stiles as he continues, who’s looking at him with something akin to concern, “I don’t feel like I’m an omega, like I’m supposed to be.”

He stops, and Stiles picks up after a moment.

“Because you’ve always acted like an alpha,” he tries, and Derek nods, but there’s more.

“I always thought – we all always though – I’d be an alpha because of my personality. And I know that you never act like an omega, either, you’re not…you don’t fit into the roles, I know. But you…”

“But where I feel comfortable in being an omega, you don’t.”

“I don’t,” Derek agrees, and he stops, again, trying to figure out how to say this. Stiles jumps in again.

“Then will you be my alpha?”

There’s a certain amount of flirting to it, but Derek can tell he’s also a bit serious, and fuck, he seems overall okay with this is all, so much more than Derek could’ve asked for, but still, he doesn’t – it doesn’t –

“I don’t feel like an alpha, either.”

Which makes Stiles pause, and they stand there for a second, just staring at each other.

“Beta?” Stiles asks, which – no, no, he feels less like a beta than he does an omega or an alpha, fuck, he doesn’t _know_ what he feels like, he just feels – he feels incomplete, like he’s not fully there, and he wants something he doesn’t know how to put into words. He shakes his head and he can feel pricks in the back of his eyes and he tightens his jaw because what the fuck is even wrong with him.

“Hey, hey,” Stiles is saying then, taking his face in his hands, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here with you, I’m here for you, no matter what you decide you are, or aren’t, okay?” And then he pulls Derek into a hug, and god, if there was anything he needed right then.

He doesn’t feel okay, he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen or how he’s gonna feel later, and most of all, he doesn’t know how to articulate himself, how to explain to anybody how he feels, and its overall a really, really shitty feeling. It’s all he can think about as he walks back into the school with Stiles holding his hand, and he sighs to himself, and it’s really, really all he can hope that it’ll get better, eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [asocialfoxpaw](http://asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com/) or [onedirectionaremyfirstlove](http://onedirectionaremyfirstlove.tumblr.com/)


End file.
